Gifted children- whether academically, technically or socially connected to well-off people and exposed to better opportunities- are often seen as a beacon of hope in many Kenyan households. The lives they lead give their families the hope of a better future- an escape from financial struggles especially if they come from lower middle class or poor families. For such kids, parents sacrifice, siblings adjust and entire families pin their dreams on their success.
When these children, now adults, secure high-paying jobs, they often become the financial backbone of not just their immediate family but also their extended relatives.
But what happens when that brilliance isn’t enough? When the weight of expectations becomes unbearable, or life’s unpredictable twists derail the path to success? The burden of brilliance is real, and for many gifted children, the pressure to “save” their families can lead to emotional distress, burnout, resentment and mental health issues when the opportunities to do so fail to avail themselves.
“In many Kenyan families, financial responsibilities are not limited to parents. Husbands often take on secondary parenting roles and academically gifted children are seen as their family’s future hope.
When such individuals face unemployment, the entire household feels the impact, both financially and emotionally. The distress is not just about money, but also about shattered expectations, family pressure, and strained relationships.
Financial burdens are often distributed among family members, especially the firstborn children or academically promising youth. When these individuals remain unemployed despite family sacrifices, it creates a ripple effect of stress, disappointment and anxiety throughout the household. The family would endure financial strain and struggle to meet household needs leading to increased stress and possible conflicts,” began Ms Audrey Oluyole, a Nairobi-based Counselling Psychologist.
She went on, “Secondly, the gifted person would battle with guilt and disappointment because of the sacrifices made for them to succeed including having family assets sold to educate them- the feelings of helplessness and frustration would thrive.”
When such gifted children with higher chances of succeeding in life and pulling their families out of poverty are seen to be struggling, those around them may end up feeling demotivated and anxious about their own futures- bring the circle to a close with the gifted person further feeling depressed, anxious, worthless, isolated and even nursing suicidal thoughts over the pressure to succeed.
“To escape judgment, some may distance themselves from family, discussions or become emotionally detached. But at the end of the day, a healthy household response to unemployment can prevent long-term psychological damage. Families must balance emotional support with practical solutions to avoid burnout or deepening their mental health struggles. They can do this by encouraging open and judgement free communication, acknowledging the emotional impact of unemployment on both the individual and his dependents, avoiding blame games and criticism and instead have discussions about finances and emotional well being,” cautioned Ms Oluyole.
She insisted on the extended family assuring the individual that their worth was not tied to their financial contributions alone and that they can adapt to the new circumstances without making the individual feel like a burden.
They should also help the individual stay motivated by exploring side hustles that can provide short-term relief, encourage skill building, volunteering or engaging in activities that would boost their confidence and employability.
“Challenge negative self-talk by reminding them that unemployment is not permanent and that self-worth is more than financial success. Keep them engaged in family life. Isolation worsens depression. Involve them in decision-making and normal household routine,” advised Ms Oluyole.
