Society has long placed an unfair burden on single mothers, often painting them as reckless, irresponsible or even unworthy. In Kenya, the heartbreaking, derogative stereotype is often based on soccer terms whenever men approach her. They diss that a man would start the ‘match’ (read relationship) at 1-0, meaning the woman already has a child from a previous relationship/outside while he has none.
Yet, before passing judgment, mustn’t one ask: why is she a single mother? Was it by choice or was she left with no alternative? Too often, women find themselves raising children alone due to circumstances beyond their control- an actively absent partner, an abusive relationship, assault or even widowhood. Despite these realities, they are frequently met with stigma rather than support.
The assumption that single motherhood is always a result of poor decisions ignores the complexity of life. Many women fight to provide for their children after being abandoned by their partners. Others escape toxic or violent relationships to protect their children. Some may have been widowed, leaving them to navigate parenthood alone. Yet, instead of empathy, they face whispered criticisms, lack of financial and emotional support and even workplace discrimination.
Rather than shaming single mothers, society should ask how it can ease their struggles. Single parenting is not just emotionally demanding, it is financially draining and socially isolating. Instead of judgment, offering community support- whether through childcare assistance, mentorship or simply acknowledging their efforts- can make a significant difference. A mother raising children alone should not have to do it in isolation.
Building a supportive community around single mothers can take many forms. Employers can create family-friendly policies that acknowledge their challenges, neighbors can offer a helping hand with errands and friends can check in regularly. Even small acts, such as offering emotional support or advocating for policies that benefit single parents, can create a more inclusive environment for them and their children.
Furthermore, shifting the narrative around single mothers benefits not just them but society as a whole. A child raised by an overburdened, unsupported mother faces higher risks of poverty, emotional distress and limited opportunities. Additionally, they would have to deal with a society that also unjustifiably stigmatizes them for being raised by single mothers whenever they find themselves on the wrong side of moral and legal ‘laws’. When a community steps in to uplift single mothers, they are also investing in the well-being and future of the next generation.
Before stigmatizing a single mother, people should consider the strength it takes to do what she does every day. Asking why she is a single mother and how to help her rather than judge her is the first step toward fostering a kinder, more understanding society, one where no mother feels abandoned simply because she is raising her children alone.
