There is this stereotype among men with dependents- girlfriends, wives, children or extended family- that all they have to do is bring home the bread- money- and they are done with their provision responsibilities. Their rationale is that the money they bring in should cater for basics, wants and whatever level of entertainment that the balance will afford.
Beyond that, they see no point in being hands on in the running of the home or the nurturing of the children if they have female dependents who can do it all. Some men believe they should be welcomed home like kings after a day of work because their women simply stayed at home ‘doing nothing.’
But what if the tables were turned? What if this lifestyle some men built for themselves where all they needed to provide was money- not their time, energy or presence- and the women they depended on up and either left or departed? What would such men with children left in their hands do? Hire house managers as most would do? Hand the kids over to their mothers? Ask their sisters to move in to help raise the children?
What if all these women remained unavailable to such men, and all they were left with is money and children in their hands?
Let me tell you Maina, this is where you must either refresh your memory or learn and master these 12 stereotyped ‘girly’ skills in order to maintain some semblance of order and sanity for your children, and for your peace of mind. Check them out below:
- You must know how to light a cooker/oven/jiko/stove; plan and cook your meals. You mist know how to balance out the meals to meed nutritional needs- you can’t live on Ugali and eggs or Sh 80 mutura daily!
- Your Mama Fua will not always be available and you may not have the funds to purchase the necessary appliances so you must know how to clean and organize your home or you will be an eternal friend to pests and diseases in your home.
- You must know how to raise and nurture your children- it is not a preserve or an instinct in women only. Some men make better ‘mothers’ than some mothers. Learn how to change diapers, bathe younger kids, helping with homework and setting a lifestyle routine for them.
- Learn how to sew. Your local tailor will not always be available or will always be taking your around in circles like most of them do when it comes to delivering finished products. Learn how to mend tears and ripped seams, saw on buttons and how to care for different types of fabric.
- Learn how to be empathetic and emotionally available to your loved ones. Go beyond giving unsolicited advise. Learn to listen, express emotions clearly and supporting loved ones.
- It is believed some men do not know how to multitask- let alone spell the word. You must learn how to balance work, heading the home, raising your dependents and meeting all your other social obligations. You cannot only focus on one thing while the others languish.
- Looking good. Many women/mothers handle all these tasks and still manage to look and smell good. Men must also learn to take care of their beauty cares such as skin care routines, hair maintenance, nail salon needs, hitting the gym and so forth. Yes, you may be the manliest man out there but you are addressed by how you dress; and first impression is always important. Handle your business but look great while at it. These are not all preserves of the girlies but for anyone who cares to put their best foot forward.
