Kenyan mums, let’s be real… school terms are exhausting. Between waking up at dawn to prepare the kids, handling endless homework, revision, CBC assignments, school projects and ensuring they eat right, you’ve been running on empty for months. Yet, when the holidays arrive, the burden still falls on you.
But here’s the thing, you deserve a break, too. We are in the final weeks of the first term and as the first week of April rolls around, schools across the country will be closing down for a month and millions of kids heading back home for some rest and relaxation. At this time, asking dad to take the kids to their grandparents’ home- while he’s present with them too- shouldn’t make you feel guilty. It’s time to normalize shared parenting beyond just providing school fees.
In many Kenyan households, dads often take a backseat when it comes to day-to-day parenting. School matters? Mum’s got it. Health issues? Mum’s handling it. Emotional support? Mum again. But holidays should be a time for fathers to step up and bond with their kids beyond the occasional weekend outing. Letting him take them to their grandparents’ home not only allows him to fully engage in their lives as the primary parent, but also strengthens their relationship with their paternal or maternal grandparents, which is a key part of Kenyan family culture.
So, what can a mum do when the family is away for two weeks? First, rest without guilt. The Kenyan school calendar is intense- three packed terms, a congested CBC system and barely any time to breathe. If you’ve survived it all, you deserve to take a step back. Sleep in without worrying about morning tea breaks, packing lunch or nagging about homework. Watch TV without Peppa Pig or Akili and Me taking over the screen. Just enjoy the silence and stillness that rarely exists when kids are home.
Next, invest in self-care. Visit the salon without rush, get a relaxing massage, or just enjoy a slow, uninterrupted cup of tea. Maybe even take yourself on a solo date at Artcaffe, Java or that nyama choma joint you love. It’s also the perfect time to catch up with friends, have deep conversations that don’t involve school runs or simply do nothing without guilt.
Third, use the time to reset your personal goals. The fast-paced nature of Kenyan parenting, combined with economic struggles, often leaves no room for self-improvement. This is a great time to sign up for an online course, organize finances, declutter the house, or even strategize on career and business goals. Maybe it’s time to finally start that side hustle, work on your savings plan or breathe and think without distractions.
At the end of the day, asking dad to take the kids away for a while isn’t abandoning your role- it’s ensuring that parenting is balanced. Kenyan fathers should be just as involved in raising their children beyond school fees and discipline. Meanwhile, mums need time to rest and reset so they can return refreshed and energized. So, if the guilt is creeping in, remind yourself: you’ve done your part this term, and now it’s your turn to take a break- completely guilt-free!
