Life has taught us that older people tend to have more wisdom nuggets to share based on their age, lifetime experiences and lessons learnt.
For Ms Adelle Onyango, one of Kenya’s renowned media personalities who is also a published author and film maker, her latest life lesson came from an interaction with her 3-year-old niece- an interaction that left a great impact on her and her healing journey.
“So I’m a professional aunt. I have two nieces and a nephew and I love hanging out with them because it’s refreshing to see things from their lens. They see things in their simplicity. Be it actual physical things or even people. For example, after I joined the ‘baldie’ squad, I went to see my niece and she said “Aunty Del where’s your hair?” I said oh I cut it and she said “ok” and went on swimming – simple.
But that’s not what I wanted to share, I learnt a powerful lesson from my niece Ayuma a few weeks ago. I had harvested potatoes and was dropping some for her and her twin brother. Of course we start playing and mid games she asks her mum to play her some music. My sister had this playlist on her phone ready. It was full of Ms Rachel-like, Baby Shark-like songs which are so foreign to child-free me,” began Adelle.
She went on, “One song comes on, it’s about rabbits I think and I’m asking my niece to show me the dance. Her twin brother is flying from sofa to sofa, you can tell he’s not really into this music thing. I turn back to my niece and she has her eyes closed, one hand up with her pointer finger up and she’s swaying her little body from side to side. She is lost in this song. I’m standing there watching this 3 year old be present in this song. She wasn’t bothered about her aunt asking for an impromptu dance lesson, her twin brother flying across the room, her mum holding her small brother – it’s like we all disappeared and she was present, in the moment, with her song.
That moment nudged me to try and be more like her. As someone who battles anxiety, if I don’t check myself, my thoughts will run away from the present, to find something to stress or worry about. So I could be on my morning walk and instead of taking in the beautiful tea farms and trees around me, I’d find my mind racing to panic about an email I need to send, a call I need to make etc.”
In her reflections, she spoke of how her therapist had taught her a ‘5-4-3-2-1’ grounding exercise that would help her stay present. This involves, “5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can touch or feel, 3 distinct sounds you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.”
She revealed this exercise helps her marshal her thoughts and helps her be “fully in the moment.” Additionally, she also schedules time to be out in nature or to do something creative.
“Scheduling time for these activities that almost force you to be present, help inject those moments of being present in your life. So the next time you find yourself wandering away from the present moment, just think of my 3 year old niece, surrounded by chaos, but listening to a song about rabbits, eyes shut, pointer finger in the air and swaying from side to side…lost in the moment,” concluded Ms Adelle.
