Some relationships in this day and age continue to evolve beyond the ‘keep it private until it is serious’ lifestyle choice. They are no longer about the couples simply coming together for whatever needs they have for each other but about what sorts of spectacles can be made of it to show off to all and sundry that they are in their ‘best relationship yet’.
And in this age of social media, all sorts of spectacles are fair game for likes, follows, shares, subscriptions and going viral. From choreographed dates with champagne and money bouquets in tow, highly curated “a day in our lives” reels to lovey-dovey vlogs where they shower praise and affection for each other- relationships are now content goldmines.
But then, as such couples strive for fame at any cost and to maintain it, the lines become blurred. Is it a genuine relationship? At what point does the relationship stop being about real love and becomes a public performance? At what point does it become clout chasing to keep eyeballs on themselves? To what extent should followers believe the sappy captions and hashtags used to ‘summarize’ their romantic relationships?
To make matters worse, you find that some content creators with such kind of relationships never hold on to them beyond expected relationship milestones. Their dating history puts supermarket receipts to shame- being in one relationship after another, whether they are rebounds or not. In Kenya, there are more than a handful of influencers who have such kinds of relationships. And the kicker? They date within their social circles- date a fellow influencer, a friend, date an ex’s friend, date a friend’s parent, date a friend’s sibling. It seems undending.
Love is transformed into a marketable commodity! These relationships are overshared on social media and no one can easily tell the difference whether it is real love intimacy or clout chasing.
So what could be the truth about people who get into these highly publicized relationships?
According to Nairobi-based Counselling Psychologist Ms Audrey Oluyole, psychological questions should be asked about such couples who come together for unconventional purposes, and the emotional consequences and long-term mental health implications analyzed.
“Couples who come together primarily for content creation often share motivations rooted in external validation, ambition and the pursuit of fame. Social media rewards curated, engaging portrayals of relationships which can lead individuals to prioritize aesthetic appeal and marketability over genuine emotional connection. Additionally, narcissistic tendencies, fear of missing out that is F.O.M.O, or the desire for financial gain can further drive these partnerships,” began Ms Oluyole.
She went on to explain that the impact of content creation on emotional connections causes strains on emotional bonds between partners whereby the focus is placed on prioritizing online appearances over authentic romantic experiences.
“Over time, this can lead to feelings of disconnection as the relationship becomes more about performance than mutual support. The performative nature of social media requires a couple to present a polished ‘perfect image’ which can erode genuine intimacy and trust. When interactions are filtered through the lenses of public perception, partners may struggle to navigate vulnerability and honesty. This performative dynamic can result in emotional distance and insecurity within the relationship,” continued Ms Oluyole.
Another truth? Couples whose relationships revolve around content creation and social media endure heightened stress, anxiety, emotional exhaustion and burnout because of the pressures to maintain relevance, manage online scrutiny and monetizing their lives.
“Tragically, if the relationship ends, the public nature of the breakup can amplify feelings of shame and loss which we’ve really seen with many online couples,” said Ms Oluyole.
How then could such content creating couples strike a balance between commitment and clout chasing? Ms Oluyole advised that they should establish healthy boundaries between their private lives and public personas and prioritizing offline moments over going viral on social media.
Open communication, seeking personal fulfillment beyond social media, therapy or counselling were also listed as essential strategies for such couples to thrive in both worlds.
“While relationships centered on social media content creation can be lucrative and exciting, they often come with significant psychological challenges which we have seen many couples facing. By fostering authenticity, setting boundaries and prioritizing emotional well-being, couples build stronger, healthier connections that endure beyond the screen.
However, if not, the negative is also achieved. So we find many who are unable to keep up with the face, or they cannot separate their social media personas from their real personas, ending up with dramatic breakups and long-term emotional and psychological consequences,” concluded Ms Oluyole.
